we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
