Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
