porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
