You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
