he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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