I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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