either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
