I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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