you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
