I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
