well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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