I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
