I want you more than these girls want KFC
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
