at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize