Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
