I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
