i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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