guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
