One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
