it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
