We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize