I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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