is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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