coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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