fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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