Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
