i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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