i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
