How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
did you just send me my own nude
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
