Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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