Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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