That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
