Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
it's great music for shaving your balls
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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