So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
