If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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