Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She bit a glass in half.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize