And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You were trust falling into bushes
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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