We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You need a sexual gate keeper
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
