wanna go halves on a baby?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
