I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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