My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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