You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm passing your future prison.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
there is puke in my bra ... again
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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