watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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