who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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