But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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