He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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