weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize