therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she woke up with a sticky ear
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize