You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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