Kiss
Puke
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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