I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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