wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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