I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
