just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
