Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
im on a boat
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