he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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