remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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