quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
