I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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