OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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