I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize