so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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