If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
