I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
