Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
