Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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