I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
