I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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