Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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